Endless Feast: the New Mukilteo Diet

EPILOGUE: Enjoying lessons learned

2008-10-21T20:26:00.004-06:00

After the project described in this blog, we finally got in touch with the local mycological society and it was more that we dreamed it could be. Great folk, and a superb exhibit of mushrooms. There is nothing to beat actually handling edible and other mushrooms, in terms of identification. Pictures can be dangerous. But smelling, feeling and examining the species folks bring in allows one to do a better job identifying in the field. In this picture are a couple mushrooms we purchased (for pocket change) as well as several we collected on a recommended hike AFTER the exhibit. In other words, had I had the chance to go to this meeting of the Snohomish Mycological Society before embarking on my project, I would have been much more successful at tracking down edible species. In the bottom picture is my son with an Amarita Muscarina, which some think is a "magic mushroom." In fact, it is basically toxic and just messes with the mind in the way that Raid sprayed on a cigarette might(I heard this was done with fatal effects in Cambodia a few years ago). But they are cool looking. On the edible end, we became confident in the difference between poisonous boletes and the botellus russellii, which I ate both raw and on top of some pizza. I love it. Raw, it had a nice almost citrus flavor. I also got my first taste of a lobster mushroom and a white chanterelle. Those of you who think mushrooms in the store are boring or lack nutritional value need to get to a market where you can sample such things. If you do, you will find more motivation to learn about mushroom foraging. So I'll consider this one of my favorite byproducts of the experiment documented below.

END: Lessons learned

2008-10-14T19:38:00.004-06:00

Weight: 188.2

I didn't make it the full 30 days. I timed things wrong. I went 30 days without paying for food, but toward the end there were lots of food opportunities surrounding a board of directors visit, and I couldn't afford to pass up things like shrimp quesadillas, Chinese buffet, and crab dip. Despite this, I did lose twenty pounds and learned a lot about the edible plants, seafood, and fungi in my region. Sorry to those of you waiting for a heroic effort, but such is the reality. Given the dire economy these days, the experiment was quite valuable, and in addition to self-reflection, I have some observations related to sustaining oneself. I will end my experiment with a list of lessons learned (in no particular order).

1. Oysters fresh from a clean bay are better tasting than anything you can get at a restaurant.
2. All the excitement about edible leafy greens in the edible plant books masks the reality that even if you identify and harvest these, you really need other sources of protein to sustain yourself. The most protein I could find was through the plentiful Amaranth, but it still seemed inadequate without constant pier fishing.
3. I need to try this again during salmon season, but plan in such a way that I can actually stand a chance of catching my limit once or twice with some big fish. The constant fishing for perch was convenient but time consuming.
4. There are lots of immigrant families in affluent suburbia that fish not for the sexiness of the sport but for food. It was great to become friends with my Russian neighbors in particular, despite the language barrier with the adults (the kids chatted with my sons freely).
5. Pollution, whatever your politics, matters for those who want a direct connection to the food of the land. I don't think it would have been healthy for me to accumulate mercury by living off of Puget Sound fish exclusively.
6. King kelp is abundant and edible but tastes bad.
7. Gardens of the size most families tend cannot sustain more than one adult on their own.
8. One needs to consider purchasing whole wheat, and a grinding device, to have flour. Bread became my savior over the month, though I only went through half my bag of flour and half my bag of sugar.
9. If you aren't lucky enough to live where blackberries grow literally everywhere, it is hard to try what I tried. Sorry Arizona friends.
10. Dandelions are everywhere and, when not full of herbicide, are great to eat and especially to stir fry.
11. Nasturtiums are my favorite flower--to eat.
12. One can be a hunter-gatherer only if one does not have a full-time job. Civilization rests on the agricultural practices progressives despise.
13. Killing a chicken loses doesn't seem too hard to do emotionally when you are terribly hungry. I could have wrung a neck had it not been for Mukilteo's prohibition of chickens. (I remember some of my folks' hippie friends realized their regretfully carnivorous desires in a communal setting). Seattle residents can own three hens, and get their eggs. That would be the key to success in this experiment.
14. We do a lot more "numero dos" when we consume lots of processed foods. I never had the gastro-intestinal problems and gassiness I expected. I think, overall, my diet was much healthier than what I had eaten in the August.
15. Making hard cider is pretty easy.
16. Cooperative life is great. Having friends with fruit trees was a saving grace through my silly endeavor.
17. Even if I have to go to the store now, I will supplement my diet with the "free" food around me for the rest of my life.
18. Mushroom hunting is not as dangerous as I thought. You just need careful identification, perhaps a local mycological club to help you identify tough species, and a dedication to eating only species that have few or no poisonous look-alikes.
19. Kids appreciate even strange tasting foods when they have a role in finding and harvesting them. I could never have gotten my kids to eat so much fish and weeds had it not been "fun."
20. Having to hike for food negates even successful forays in terms of net caloric gain.
21. If you try this, be careful to identify things with good tools, don't be reckless, and consider having cultivated potatoes and you will be able to do a better job than I did.

God's peace all. Check back next August and I may try this anew, with better planning, but stricter rules (like no sugar/flour).

Day 24: Boring!

2008-10-07T19:43:00.003-06:00

Weight: 191.4

Breakfast: vitamins, plums, apples, pears (my wife made a good apple sauce at least, and though different apples would have made a better sauce it was nice variety)

Lunch: plums, plums, apples, plums

Dinner: apples, nasturtiums, one tomato with salt.

Boring I say! I would like to thank my sons for eating their bacon, potatoes, cheese, and salsa dinner before I got home. But I did smell the bacon upon opening the front door. At least I see the home stretch, and we will all be going out for Thai food in six days or so. I also promised a small class that we'd get an English style "big breakfast" next week to celebrate.

Pictured hear is my family waiting for the Kingston ferry. I hear that there are some great Coho out there. The season for salmon in the sound is over, but I'll be on the river before this week is out, God willing.

P.S.: Lots of folk around me have been getting sick. I expected that at least something would screw me up, digestively or otherwise. Despite being a bit light headed from a lack of protein and fat, I have not (knock on wood) gotten sick off of anything. I was particularly worried about the shellfish (dangerous even at a restaurant), but the fresh little invertebrates have not come back to bite me... at least not yet.

Day 22-23: Whidbey Island Plunder

2008-10-06T22:48:00.003-06:00

Weight: 192.2

I finally got what I was looking for when I started (minus the salmon victory): shellfish. After the energy I gained from a day of fulfilling (literally) mushrooms, I went on a quest for our exoskeleton-boasting treasure here in the northwest. All day Sunday, I engorged myself on pears and apples. I asked if I could eat a snake or two my friend's son caught, but he turned me down. Just as well, since they were ... cute? But the less-sentient shellfish were not so lucky. For lunch, I ate the best oyster I've ever tasted, fresh off the cold water. Shucked it, and ate its cool, seemingly pollutant-free meat. I am very interested in finding a big oyster bed for this purpose. My grandfather, who used to live in Seattle, would go down to the shore with a shucking knife and horseradish sauce, open the critters up, throw on the nosebending sauce and eat them right there. It was almost spiritual. Then, the kids uncovered some great clusters of very clean looking mussels. I pocketed them and later cooked them up in butter and garlic. I don't think I've had better mussels in my life: whether starving or not. It is amazing how much better fresh shellfish tastes than it does when it makes it to a restaurant. I've had better recipes or preparation, but never better basic meat quality. Later, for low tide, my main man AP and his son G, along with my oldest boy, went down to the shore with shovels and uncovered several clams. We ate them for dinner. Superb. Once again: fulfilling. I am writing on Monday, and I'm sore from the shoveling of wet sand; it was a great workout with decent results. We wished for more but AP said, "I think it was a successful failure of an outing." I agree. Tasty at least.

This morning and through work I kept eating from the big bag of pears and apples we brought back, with generous permission from our friends.

Tonight, for dinner, I plundered my own back yard garden. I ate the last little cucumber, a decent carrot (with top, tasting like parsley), nasturtium, dandelion, and lots of fresh amaranth.

In the mean time, my wife has been occupied with personality tests. She thinks she is a INTJ, and I am an ENFP, with occasional tests showing up as INFP. In my profile, it mentions something about crazy dietary swings. I post this to solicit comment on whether this experiment of mine relates to my Jungian type. My friend's daughter M (age three) was real excited to give me a bug to eat the other day. She is such a free spirit that it may be that testing culinary boundaries play into personality concerns. I tested her boundaries as she collected a big flying insect, and she tested mine as I chomped on it without really being hungry. All in all, I'd like to thank my friends and their kids for helping me stay alive. They've been really accommodating. You know how annoying it is when someone comes to visit and has weird dietary restrictions (e.g., I sometimes visit people during a vegetarian fast)? Well it's pretty dang nice of another family to help me get a dinner that involves trekking through the woods looking for fungus. We couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to visit our Whidbey friends on the weekends.

Day 21: Mushroom fiesta

2008-10-04T21:19:00.005-06:00

Weight: 193

Today I ate more mushrooms than ever, and I never got tired of them. In between soccer for my 6 year old and football for my 10 year old, we took a superb hike behind the local library. After finding whole mini forests of inedible mushrooms, I came across the mushrooms shown here--shaggy mane. I picked the best ones, left some others, and brought them back for lunch. Then, I grilled them with butter (turns out we only went through the first half pint). The other one was hiding in the back of the fridge and it tastes as good as when we first made it. I added lots of garlic from the garden, white pepper, black pepper, sea salt, and a one free onion that a friend had given me. It was by far the best mushroom meal I've ever had.

Then, after the football game, we squeezed into the last spot on the ferry from Mukilteo to Whidbey Island to visit our superb friends. Upon arrival, I tricked our host into taking me to some mushroom hunting spots. None of them turned up anything edible, but lots of interesting fungi. Just when darkness threatened to end my dinner hopes, I found more chanterelles than I needed. After eating every last thing in sight, I only gathered the nicest, cleanest, and largest of the chanterelles. When I got back, I even got my wife and our friends to try some. I used some curry powder. I realized it would be a great substitute for chicken in a curry dish. I will always be interested in gathering a few of those on hikes, even after the experiment. I will go to bed fully sated.

BTW: I have discovered a great deodorant that has no aluminum. I recommend it: Tom's of Maine's Natural Long-Lasting Care Deodorant Stick. It has hops in it. I've tried lots of alternatives to anti-persperant, but this one is a new favorite. That's for all you who are worried about trading smelling nice for memory issues.

Days 19-20: Fish Heads and Hikes

2008-10-03T21:06:00.005-06:00

Weight: 193.2

Yesterday, I cheated and had a box lunch when consultants came in to teach about technology. It was a salad though, and I could have gathered roughly the same items at home. Indeed, it was somewhat frustrating that it had lettuce, pears, carrots, and cucumbers--all of which I could have gathered at home, but it did have some walnuts, so a true cheat. This put me on the warpath to prove something. So, that night I went fishing. I was not after perch but something larger, and indeed I got a decent rock sole, a bit smaller than the one my son is holding to the left. I cooked it like fish and chips with some of my rye flour, but had no "chips".

Then today, while my son practiced football, I walked in the rain for a couple hours in a trail tucked away behind our local library. I found lots of inedible mushrooms, including several galerinas (deadly). So it was a mycological bust. But I at least kept my spirits up with lots of wet (from rain) and tasty red clover flowers and assorted berries along the way. The prevalence of blackberies around here makes this too easy. I tried something that looked like an olive, but I shouldn't have since it was not an olive but a berry that I recall was inedible (don't try this reckless method at home) but I only swished it around and spit it out. The whole thing was exhausting and so when I got home I pulled out a whole head of lettuce, and added some tomato mint and nasturtium flower (see pic). That left me somewhat depressed about the lack of strong nourishment. I almost ate a cucumber but it was too small and I'll wait and hope the rain gets it up in size by the end of my adventure.

So, fortunately, I thought ahead yesterday and saved the fish head and spine and tail. I used this to create a fish broth (with some nifty spices from the rack) and a couple pulls of garlic. I then used this broth to boil assorted big greens from the yard, like nasturtium leaves, huge dandelion leaves that I missed earlier, and some spinach that never quite looked good in my backyard. Perhaps I planted the latter at the wrong time or didn't get it enough sun. Who knows, but I do know that the greens in fish broth was worth the work. I am completely sated. Almost over ate. Now, I should start being careful of my fish intake. I will hold off after this experiment on the seafood because I don't want my mercury levels to rise, and I believe the head might contain extra stores of the heavy metals. Nonetheless, I can attest that fish heads make a great soup. I got the idea from a southeast asian friend on the pier. They have a couple traditional dishes I'll try again once I can buy some other ingredients like white wine and rice noodles.

One piece of good news: I felt like a real failure since the whole experiment was undertaken on the assumption that I'd be catching my fair share of salmon. On this side of the sound, with the sea grass and the currents, using my kayak has not been that effective. I hope to go back to Whidbey this weekend but the saltwater salmon season is ended. But again, good news: I found from a student that I can hit the Snohomish river. I have a combo license. I should have known this. In any case, the kayak will work much better on the river, so I will be down there before this is all over. If so, I will end on a high. We shall see. I'm confident in my buzz bomb and I may get back to the fly fishing on the river, upstream.

Day 18: Allergic? Cleanse.

2008-10-01T20:37:00.004-06:00

Weight: 194

Note that despite some of my cheats, I have not used more sugar for jam. I did a lot of jamming at the start but not much need now. I had another loaf of bread today but I haven't used up much of my flour and don't think I will if I am successful clamming and foraging this weekend.

Last night, after my post, I realized that I was having the same reaction to the snails as I have had with scallops. This was a real bummer because I was hoping the snails would always be a great fall back in terms of protein. They worked well enough, but I think I had my last garden snail ever last night.

So today, on top of the bread, I went to town on several berries. Some I collected a few days ago and refrigerated, the rest I gathered while waiting for my oldest son to finish his midget football practice. Here's the inventory: blackberries, salal berries, oregon grapes, red huckleberries. I also found some burdock and may stir fry that tomorrow night.

Despite an earlier despair about my garden, I think it will carry me. There are lots of tomatoes and carrots left. I ate my second to last cucumber and there are no more hot peppers, but the carrots are starting to become important since they probably have more carbs than I used to assume. They do me well.

Another cheat: I'm drinking one or two cups of coffee a day. No cream or sugar, just looking for the jolt since I am meeting with guests or students for coffee rather than lunches (as used to be my favorite way to meet). There is a Tully's down the road and I plan to meet three students back to back there.

Day 17: Escargot_ing going gone

2008-09-30T21:28:00.002-06:00

Weight: 194.4

Today I got to reap the rewards of my ten day tending of garden snails. They are, to remind you, the striped kind, probably descended from snail brought over by Spanish missionaries, not the brown kind found in Southern California.

I had more than two dozen. I soaked them for a few hours in salt water, with vinegar, to de-slime. Then I rinsed, deshelled them (which took far too long) and fried them up. There was quite a bit of meat. I had very little today (assorted tree fruit) because I was so looking forward to this protein boost.

They were pretty darn good, because of the various seasonings I used. I ate quite a bit tonight. Perhaps it would have been good to eat fewer snails with some pad thai or something, but it was pretty good overall. The snails were weaker in flavor than oysters, so the strange musky flavor that I didn't expect would probably have been less weird had I grown up with this flavor. Moreover, the escargot I've had in the past was probably farm raised and thus a bit blander. In other words, I was expecting less gaminess, but in perspective, snails are easier on the palate for the less adventurous than some traditional species of shellfish.

So I feel well fed but not as impressed as I expected by the meat. I didn't follow the perfect recipe by simmering them for several hours in white wine, but they worked pretty well for this experiment. In any case, a great nutritional boost.

Day 16: Really? Monday?

2008-09-29T23:38:00.001-06:00

Weight: 195

My friend from Whidbey came by the house so we broke into the apple brew. It tasted like apple cider to me, but when the boys took one taste, they confirmed that the fermentation had happened. They said I "ruined it". I disagree. The pressing from the other day resulted in the equivalent of five wine bottles. Indeed, we used a few with fresh corks from the home brew store. No preservatives; so short shelf life but fresh taste.

Day 15: Back on the Wagon

2008-09-28T20:43:00.004-06:00

Weight 195

Breakfast: a disklike wafer and a sip of red sacramental wine. A handful of plums that were hiding behind leaves.

Lunch: an overdose of veggies prepared to my liking, with lots of flavor, including hot peppers. I pulled another carrot to soon but checked and found I could eat the green part too. See the before and after shot of everything I grabbed in the upper left. Not sure if the apple fit the rest but I took everything I could get. I added lots of garden green beans for weight. Dessert was wild strawberries.

Dinner: went on a big hike for mushrooms, but found nothing trustworthy despite the many specimens that sprung up since a recent rain. We did find a ton of red clover, some soap berries, tried just for fun, and some alder pine cones that tasted better now that they weren't so new. Got a couple pounds of sweet blackberries. Not too much interesting but got some exercise.

I got a book from a colleague called Plenty: Eating Locally on the 100 Mile Diet by Smith and Mackinnon. It has a few interesting ideas I'll use. If I've at all piqued your interest in this project, they have something a bit more sane.

Days 13-14: Fiesta and Failure

2008-09-27T20:37:00.003-06:00

Weight: 195.7

Since our Whidbey Island friends got sick and couldn't join us as planned this evening, I didn't feel right drinking the hard cider we made from last week. So, I had a few beers, including one at a great little Seattle spot next to the Moore Theater called Nitelite. PBR for two bucks couldn't be beat. Sorry for the cheat, but there was an important occasion: the music of Calexico. Pictured is my dear wife waiting in downstairs in the Moore Theater for the superb music of a band we've been following for a decade. The first time I saw them, tickets were eight bucks and beer was four. On Friday night the beer was two bucks and the show was 20.

Twenty plus an obscene online charge of $9 plus a 2 dollar "venue surcharge." What the heck? So I couldn't bring myself to pay for these tickets, even though they are our favorite act that still regularly performs (followed closely by Wovenhand and Slim Cessna's Auto Club). In any case, at the last minute, we found a mutual gift giving situation unfold. A craigslister offered the tickets "free-ish" and said they would leave four tickets in the mailbox and then whoever picked them up could put in any money they wished. Since we can't sell our house in Colorado in this market, this was a great turn of fortune. So, we picked up the tickets, paid face value for the pair, and tried to "evangelize" some friends into Calexico fandom by giving them the other two. I think they had a good time and experienced a great show.

The next day, I went in to a work meeting from 9 to five. During that time I became famished and worried that I was getting too weak. So, at lunch, I fell off the wagon and had lunch. It was a very healthy veggie wrap--so the primary change in diet was the carbs in the wrap itself. After falling, I figured I might as well take advantage of my failure, so I had another wrap. They were pretty small and lacked much protein, but they restored my energy somewhat.

So perhaps you will forgive me. But you will likely not forgive the sins that followed. One pint of Guinness with colleagues (note that I think stouts got their start by monks who used the thick beers as a bread substitute while "fasting") and then the left over fish and chips from my kids who were taking advantage of a 70th anniversary deal from Ivars, a superb local eatery. Anyway, it wasn't anywhere near what I would have consumed under normal circumstances. Indeed, I would have probably found the meal deal they got unfulfilling a month ago. But now, I feel guilty for gobbling up their scraps. They would have gone into the trash, and I am not in this for some silly rule but for self discovery. Here is what I discovered: it is well nigh impossible to stay strong without serious carbs and protein. The fruits and greens I've been eating are, allegedly, able to give some of this, but the immediate limitations of this diet are now apparent. Perhaps it is a matter of the will but I, with all the lush vegetation around me, find this diet terribly inadequate. The fish I eat on occasion is good, but I need their flesh more regularly than I expected. Had I some potatoes, I think I could get by without any fish, but as it is, I find myself fixated on the idea of my next loaf of bread. Meanwhile, despite my hunger, I've not lost much weight. Perhaps it is because of the high sugar content of the fruit. Who knows? When my family came home from the store today they found me in the back yard, picking the wild strawberries festooning the untamed parts of the yard. I probably looked little different in terms of weight or energy, but inside I was thinking how I couldn't last long, even with today's cheats and with a handful of fruit that I neither planted nor tended. I learned today another lesson brought home by a conversation with my brother: you can be a hunter and gatherer, or a guy who works at some institution, but it is pretty hard to do both. I am pretty sure that, at least during this time of year, I could spend my days finding food. But I can't do that AND strategize, research, prepare, and spend time with the sons. Hm.

So daily existence has become more acutely valuable to me, knowing the value and the work involved in each morsel of food. And so has music, I could almost see the music from Friday night as waves of light. My psychology colleague tells me this isn't entirely unique. It wasn't hallucination, but this sense of "seeing" the music was a kind of ethereal food. I will not forget this weekend's music, and the song "Guero Canelo" is still resonating through my bones.

Day 12: I Miss My Shawnee Friend

2008-09-25T21:00:00.003-06:00

Weight: 196.6

Dr. Ron was a friend of mine who died in 2005 after serving as a colleague at another college in the field of anthropology. He often invited my family to stay at his 60 acres. There, he reburied Native American remains disturbed by construction, grew tobacco, and lots of food, taught students about the edible and medicinal plants in the region, and had a lot of fun hosting pow wows at his big lodge. I've thought of him many times over the last few years because he was kind to my family and taught my sons a lot about traditional agriculture and taught his students a lot about anthropology. The thing I regret is that I never paid enough attention to his lessons. I do recall some things about growing and drying tobacco, the value to his friends of sage, and a lot about breeding hot peppers. But I never learned the most important identification lessons. And now I'm thinking I need to find someone with his knowledge and somehow bribe them to tell me what he was trying to tell me all along--the species of plant all around me that I could be enjoying.

Seven years ago, at this time of year, my family and he dug up a couple wheel barrows full of sweet potatoes. We ate so much that I don't think I've had them since then. We put butter and brown sugar on them, we turned them into sweet potato fries, we turned them into pies. And eventually, I just overloaded. And now ... what I wouldn't give for one sweet potato. The solid carbs would be real nice right now. But I neither remember how to cultivate them, nor thought to plant them.

And this causes me to recall something I was researching when I worked with Ron: the Huguenots who settled in Florida, and almost starved in the 16th century. Florida! How can anyone starve in Florida? They have the sea, a good climate for finding and cultivating things, lots of land game at the time--a virtual Eden. And they couldn't hack it. My disdain for them at the time is now coming back as shame upon my head. You see, they had neighbors, the Timucuans, who had the answers to their agricultural and foraging problems. Yet these French folk were all too urbanized to have a clue what they were doing. They may have known how to grow things in their home towns, but they didn't understand the soil, nor know the plants of the region. A few ended up going to live with the Timucuan people, but others used their modern technology to build a makeshift boat back to Europe. Along the way they had to resort to cannibalism, and arrived looking like skeletons off the coast of England.

But I am even more ill equipped than they were. And here is my point: it's not that I just don't have any sweet potatoes. I don't have any potatoes. And if you look in my back yard, you can see that the side of the plumb tree that is on my side of the fence is nearly bare of fruit, but my neighbor's is full. I've eaten all the green beans given me by my colleague, I've eaten all the hot peppers in my garden. I'm eating the carrots before they are big enough to be of the most nutritional value, and I am in the awkward position of complaining that all the dandelions and most of the amaranth (both pesky but nutritious weeds) are gone. I am not even at the half way point and I feel like the unwise French settlers who couldn't hack it it lush Florida. No new plants were discovered today, but no new fruit is replacing what just one man has eaten.

I'm worried that my project will fail now that autumn is upon me. I'll have to rely more on mushrooms, but I've not found many of late and I don't have much time to hike around without having the strength that comes from food. I may have to just start eating spoonfuls of blackberry jam. (BTW: I ate the rest of my rye bread, the stuff I made a couple days ago. At least I savored every morsel). Our butter is gone. I'm looking at my dear wife and I'm thinking she would make a great Italian sausage (kidding).

Day 11: Boring Post

2008-09-24T17:59:00.004-06:00

Weight: 197.8

Food for the day: a bite of my rye bread in the morning, with jam, a few small perch and more green beans.

How can one make hunger pangs during the day interesting? They were pangy.

So, to make up for my inability to compose an interesting post, I'll just upload a picture of my hippy parents during their Colorado days, I think the year before I was born.

Day 10: Ten pounds

2008-09-23T20:41:00.006-06:00

Weight: 199

Today is boring to report but a milestone I suppose.

Did your folks ever stretch orange juice with water? Why not take the same principle and "stretch" a stir fry with back yard greens?

The fish was good but now I'm back to the yard. Today I just wanted flavor. Protein was irrelevant. Fortunately, I had the good sense to cultivate more peppers than sustaining foods. So, I diced up a wonderful Anaheim pepper, which wasn't looking so good but, amazingly, it grew to an edible size in the PNW. None of my bell peppers are doing a thing, unfortunately. In any case, I put together a full-scale taste bud assault from the yard, to keep my mind from the fact that all I had was blackberries throughout the day. So here was the fabulous stir-fry: Amaranth buds (much better in a stir fry than raw), nasturtium buds (the best part) along with their flowers and a couple handfuls of their giant leaves, carrots (I pulled them when they were smaller than they could have been but I couldn't wait), some remaining cucumber, lots of big intimidating dandelion leaves, three yellow dandelion flowers, a handful of mint (which is much different and very helpful in a stir fry) some lettuce (which didn't deserve to be there in wilted pan fried form but a bulk additive), garlic (planted thanks to a visit from my father), two green mini-pine-cones from an alder (which I ended up spitting out despite their reported protein content), rose petals, the last green onion, some more Chanterelle slices, and a big hand full of garden green beans (previously blanched). To this I added spices: sage, turmeric, sea salt (I should make my own next time), ground black pepper, mustard powder, and for fun I shook in some poppy seeds that my sister collected in a bowl before she left her visit in August.

I swear it tasted better than any stir fry I've ever made in terms of flavor. When this experiment is over, I might do the exact same thing, with a few sane alterations, some diced chicken (I almost got my friend to pick up some free chickens this weekend, but it turns out you can have three hens in Seattle but not Mukilteo), and some rice noodles.

I went foraging during my lunch hour on a hiking trail and found some mushrooms I couldn't identify (seen above left), in addition to non edible varieties I've already identified. So, good exercise, but no luck in terms of forage food. Indeed, there weren't even any berries on this hike left. I am worried I took too many Oregon grapes.

The good news is that our jug of apple cider is now bubbling through it's water valve. That means the yeast are doing their thing. Thank you little guys.

When sitting out in my backyard, peaking at the sliver of view that opens to the Puget Sound, I saw my clearest view of the Olympic Peninsula mountains, and a wonderful red sky sunset. Sailor's delight! Jesus and Ahab agree on this. I also realized that my resident frog was croaking right beneath the steps below me. There, for reasons I cannot fathom, I promised mentally not to harm the beast. I was full, and there may be a chance that whatever he is, he is an endangered species, and I bet he is a friend that will help eat insects that threaten my garden. Plus, I didn't expect a frog in my yard at all so I want at least this guy, crying out for love, to have his chance. How can I eat one so dedicated to the proposition that all frogs are created to seek procreation. I wish you all the best in your quest to pass on your lineage, little green amphibian. I'll spare you and eat more amaranth instead this month, just promise me that you don't squander your love on a mean spirited female frog. But don't worry, if the frog gets big enough to feed me for a day my ethics may be out the window. I once had three bullfrogs at a Chinese restaurant in Soho, London. They were hard to eat because of their skeletal structure but scrumptious. They don't taste like chicken, as some will tell you, they taste like heaven but look like hell. That's my kind of food.

Addendum: My snail farm looks good and I guess it will be day 17 when I get to cook them up. That will be a day of victory and feasting indeed. Service berries just wait to be consumed for breakfast but after that, I'm not sure what my plan will be. No better way to weed than to eat every weed in your suburban yard. But for me, this means there is not much left to consume in the 1/4 acre around where I sit right now.

Day 9: Stir fry madness

2008-09-22T20:26:00.003-06:00

Weight: 200

Here in the picture was my culinary labor after work: at the top is our cider, beginning to bubble as the yeast starts to do it's work. There is a water valve at top to keep out foreign bacteria. In the middle is my stir fry: chanterelle mushrooms (the best part), cucumber (I stupidly thought--in the dark--I had pulled a zucchini out of the garden), garden garlic (I diced up the green top without researching whether that was okay but it tasted good), green tomatoes, a small jalapeno, turmeric, large dandelion leaves, chocolate mint, lemon mint, salt, pepper, sage (ground and in the cabinet) and a touch of olive oil. At the bottom is a loaf of a superb rye bread I tasted (just a bite)--but since it was too early for me to start eating bread again I will save it for a while. I made it because I've found myself unable to prepare ahead last week. Tasting it, I realized it would be hard to resist for a few days, but it it is pretty hard on the outside, so it should stay well at its core and will come in handy in a pinch. This rye flour was from a health food store in Colorado and it probably was too old but I don't see any evidence of a problem.

Chanterelles, called Girolle in and in Pfifferling in German they are in my top five list of discovered foods. They taste superb in a stir fry like this, and I will gather them whenever I see them for the rest of my life. Warning: they are pretty easy to spot but look a bit like a similar mushroom I also found nearby with classic gills and were inedible. These have "false gills" and if you can tell the difference you are pretty safe. They are listed as "expert" in one of my identification books, but I read pretty closely and had a person say they were in the area. If on the off chance I took something bad (don't worry) I will go to the grave raving about the taste of what I fried up. I should be able to find far more mushrooms this week after a rainy night or two. Today was blue with only a few clouds in the sky.

This is all I had today, except for a black coffee (just dang tired this morning--sorry for the cheat) and several blackberries throughout the day.

Days 7-8: Diet means eating, not losing weight, per se

2008-09-21T22:01:00.003-06:00

Weight: 202

Too bad not everyone can live near a place like Whidbey Island. I hiked on Saturday morning, for a short while in Forest Park, Everett. I found lots of Oregon grapes. I then walked on the ferry to Whidbey Island to visit our friends who live there on several acres. This two-day visit changed everything. As you can read, I slightly gained weight this weekend. This picture includes our friends and my two boys near an apple press. After collecting several bags of apples, including those that recently fell to the ground, we had the kids shred them up in the iron contraption. Then we pressed out all juice out into the metal bowl. To be safe, we boiled the cider, giving some to the kids and saving a glass jug for fermenting into hard cider, to be consumed later.

It was an incredibly sublime weekend. I went primarily to dig for clams, but since we missed the low tide, I had to seek other sources of nourishment. I am too tired and busy to give you all the glorious details, but the bottom line is: I ate some home made bread (my weekly allotment) early. I also partook in some superb beer: Alaskan Ale. by way of food stuff: I found several Chanterelle mushrooms in various places, we found a huckleberry bush near a thrilling rope swing, I got stung by stinging nettles, my youngest got multiple stings from a bee I've never seen before, after he and his friends disturbed a hive in the process of shaking out apples (a frightening experience to be sure), we found the biggest blackberries of the season, two garter snakes (which I did not harm), and several service berries. I ate a few soap berries just to test things out.

The Chanterelle mushrooms I first found, accidentally got placed on the roof of the van. We drove off. I wanted to try them out so badly that I got my friend to drive back to where I thought they might have fallen off. Indeed, we discovered they had fallen onto the paved road, and got run over. This, I must confess, did not keep me from rescuing a section to try and see if indeed it would be safe.

After checking very carefully that it had false gills not real ones (see the book on edible mushrooms), I ate a bit. I figure, before feasting, I might as well take a little and see what happens. Hopefully, even with a mistake, I can survive a small portion. These mushrooms are very good, though they have a slightly disconcerting aftertaste when uncooked. I think the stomach ache I got was in my head (it only lasted a few minutes if it was even real). After feeling much safer about this mushroom, I eventually found another sampling on my friends acreage. I saved some for tomorrow's lunch. This is a great mushroom. Most of us think of mushrooms as blank slates that have no flavor but can only absorb it. Not so with this wild one. It has a character and fruity aroma of its own. I'm a fan. It is interesting to me how the wild things I find often surpass the store bought options. If unique flavor is important to you, you will readily agree.

The mother lode: my friends daughter (8) and my two sons helped fish for perch off a Whidbey pier. To my delight, the water on that side of the sound was exponentially clearer. We could see the perch all the way down the pier posts to the sand below. We saw a huge female d-crab almost playfully fending off a group of large perch. The kids hauled in a bucket full of small perch (the same kind I had eaten the other day), but I was able to haul in two big lunkers of the same perch species. They put up enough of a fight that the child's rod and reel I was using did not have enough resistance. My friend had to pull the first one up by hand. Of course, these were not more than a pound and a half (never weighed them) but they fought hard and had lots of solid, tasty meat. These seem to be like lake sunfish inland: they are easy to catch and can grow to a size big enough to eat like Tilapia. We went home with a bucket full of fish in salt water.

I marinated the lot in olive oil, thyme, garlic, salt, pepper, lemon juice, onions white wine, and capers. My friend made a fire in his back yard, wrapped half the fish in aluminum foil, and threw the package into the fire. Those turned out succulent and went well with dijon mustard. His kids and mine ate to their hearts' content, along with mashed potatoes kindly prepared by their mother.

I cooked the other half, simmering them in a cast iron skillet on the stove. Both methods turned out the same. The sauce was my best yet, I think, but I still like to use a method that results in a crispy fish skin. In any case, this, along with pears, plums, blackberries, and lots of apples, resulted in a very full belly all weekend. I learned a lot about the flora and fish of Whidbey, and gained back a pound or so.

I came home with a big bottle of cider, which will not be touched until the yeast does its work. I also have an extra mushroom and full belly. I think I could go another three days without eating and still be grateful for the fine weekend.

Day Six: Bounty of Grace

2008-09-18T22:54:00.004-06:00

Weight: 200.1

I've beaten myself up in a few recent posts. I've been cheating on the plan in minor ways. And though I think that getting gifts of vegetable garden surplus from friends might be considered cheating, since I didn't grow it, today I am contemplating grace, and thinking of gift food thus. This morning, I had no time, once again, to prepare a lunch or breakfast. I was racing from place to place to get ready for a meeting off-site at a hotel for coffee. I drank coffee, but, since it was a 10AM meeting, I was not socially obligated to eat, as I was yesterday. Unfortunately, the gent sitting across from me ordered a delicious looking eggs Benedict. As he ate, I couldn't control my belly as it growled; fortunately the ambient noise masked my gut sounds. The bigger frustration was that I had no lunch to look forward to.

Here's the grace: when I arrived at my office, a co-worker had a full reusable grocery bag full of garden harvest. I feel like I owe a great Friday to my first BFF from the northwest, Dr. Caroline. It was delicious and full of things I've not yet tried. I was so grateful that I think the lesson on grace and unreserved gift giving justifies my indulgence. Thus ...

Lunch: nasturtium (I'm now addicted to this great flower, that it turns out was growing in my front yard. Didn't know it was edible till now), a garden tomato eaten like an apple, a super sweet onion also eaten like an apple, chocolate mint (the mint tastes like chocolate somewhat) and spearmint to mask the onion breath.

I am in love with the nasturtium for several reasons: it can reseed itself, is beautiful, is entirely edible, much better tasting than anything else growing in my flower garden (it was there when we got to the house), attracts predatory insects to fend off the bad ones, and repel other bad pests. I am grateful for the grace found in creation: this plant is glorious.

Dinner: fried green tomatoes (small), sweet onion, dandelion leaves, nasturtium leaves, garlic from my back yard garden, using just a drop of olive oil (sorry) and a shake of turmeric. I enjoyed this so much that I made a rash vow to continue this another month after the experiment but only to add an occasional Thai rice noodle to what I cooked above. Desert was my last ugly apple found in Japanese gulch.

My kids found some snails. I will be researching their edibility and if I can consume them, I can kill two birds with one stone: disposing of the pests that are eating my garden lettuce and gaining much needed protein. There are a lot of huge banana slugs out here, but I'm not even interested in researching their edibility. I doubt they are any good because they must have a secretion that protects them from predators--if I'm wrong I don't want to know because they are disgusting to behold.

[Later addendum: I know found a source of protein more plentiful, environmentally advantageous, and probably safer--garden escargots. See http://www.motherearthnews.com/Organic-Gardening/1993-06-01/Escargots-in-Your-Garden.aspx If nothing else emerges from my experiment, this gold mine of gourmet food and pest control will be the thing that made it all worth it. ]

Another cheat: one bottle of Kikokoman plum wine split between me and my wife. I figure, since I know how to make wine, it is the closest thing to what I could have had tonight, had I planned ahead or had time to ferment. Unfortunately, I taste quite a bit of sugar in it and I'm worried, after such a good veggie meal that I might have gained a bit of weight today.

Note: the Internet is invaluable in my experiment. Should some crisis lead to a failed web access, I would not be able to survive very easily. I need to get on the ball and go fishing tomorrow morning.

Day Five: More Dead than Alive, Rocking the Plastic Like a Man From the Catskills

2008-09-18T20:42:00.007-06:00

Weight: 201 (I'm being very unscientific by weighing in at night--note that there was little change in 24 hours)

I feel like a failure. When I got to the office I realized there was a board meeting I needed to attend and it was catered. So here is my latest cheat: I ate a veggie wrap that contained only veggies that I could have got from my garden: carrots, cucumber, lettuce, and spinach, all of which I have in my back yard. The cheat comes from a nice pesto sauce within it and the wrap. To compensate, I didn't eat anything else for breakfast or lunch except some rose petals on their last legs.

So why the breach: I like my job. When I read back on my poorly composed posts I think the lack of protein, coupled with stress and limited sleep is affecting my ability to spell and write a coherent sentence. I don't want to let my experiment hurt my livelihood. Bringing backyard weeds to a working lunch would confirm the suspicion of those who might see through me: I'm nuts in more than one way. On top of this, I must confess that "falling off the forage wagon" allowed me to sneak one potato chip when I got home. Just one, but it tasted pretty good: Trader Joe's.

By the way, if you have been following the economic news, my diet, though I lost no real weight today, felt pretty good because I spent zero dollars on food. By the way, in Washington, a burger meal can run you up to ten bones. I used to feel good about getting dollar items at McD's--and I hate that stuff--but I at least feel liberated from the economic burden of consuming comida for sale. The only thing I'm lamenting is all the discarded food I didn't eat out of self-imposed rules. One could try my experiment out but add a freegan element, whereby, the idea is not so much where the food is found but that it cost nothing to obtain.

In other news, my previous post mentioned school lunches. I later learned that in my town, Mukilteo, the schools have a pretty good plan whereby they avoid embarrassing students and separate out those parents who can pay but don't from those in real need. Glad to know that some districts have a reasonable plan.

If you ever want to try this, note that one might experience temporary memory loss with less nourishment, which reminds me that the best members of society don't necessarily succeed in life, but not through a failure of their own will. The problem is, limited nutrition can cause physiological affects that make productivity suffer somewhat. Already, I'm tired and I can imagine becoming too tired to go hike and get food, or rig up my rod and catch it. Note the title: it is from a Beck song. I realize it is meaningless. I'm sure that's the point. But the fact that it came to mind right now is unnerving.

I'm thinking that if I can pull this month off, I might continue if I can take a deer during hunting season. I've never done any real hunting besides one fowl hunt with a colleague, so I have limited hopes in that area. Watch out Bambi.

Before bed, I killed a mosquito eater, an insect flying about the house, and, well, I ate it. Turns out it tastes fine, and I will be disposing of flying pests in this way in the month to come I think. Home debate ensued. The results of our straw poll are thus: son (10) "cool", son (6) "bad move"; wife was horrified: "hard to kiss you after thinking you ate a freaking bug." Minutes after this poll, we found a pretty large spider, which my wife killed (screaming) and threw away (which she never does) so I wouldn't eat it. I was disappointed that my protein lost its life without joining the circle of life.

A mild argument ensued with the family and we took comments for this blog. My son (6) is worried that he might have bad dreams about his dad eating a bug. He said he'd rather me eat worms than bugs. My son (10) is worried that society is crumbling because there is a rap song on the radio that goes "bok bok, chicken head". You tell me which reality is more disturbing!

Day four: poor planning and temptation

2008-09-17T18:04:00.007-06:00

Weight: 201.2 (I didn't think I would lose weight yet, given my caloric intake through berries and plums but it seems I am definitely shedding pounds).

I have to work from 9 to 9 today and haven't properly prepared my feasts.

Breakfast: a handful of wild strawberries from the back yard.

Lunch: I've been chomping on amaranth and a few plumbs all day. I had another colleague donate the kind of green beans that start out purple and turn green when cooked. They were very good for lunch. Once again I blanched, seasoned, and buttered them.

Dinner: As I write, I'm beginning my dinner of some rose petals and the rest of my amaranth. I'm not happy about this at all. I should have prepared better. Of course, that's part of the fun. I don't get to stalk up (Freud! I meant stock). I go find food when I need it but when I need it, I am not all that full of energy for the work itself because I lack food.

By now you realize I'm flying blind, so this is more an experiment to understand my own stupidity and dependence than it is one of those "look at this bad ass survive on elk he killed with a stone" kind of projects. I'll be going straight for the berries tonight.

All day, I've been sipping on tea that I made by putting hot water on mint, dandelion and a branch from a supple fir. Stupid me: I don't even know what kind of tree it was. But it made a nice brisk hot beverage. I now can recommend pine needle tea to you all.

Post Script: by the end of the day, with poor planning, I faced temptation hard. The first time I was victorious. A colleague's birthday celebration brought forth a cake that was just waiting around in the staff lounge all day. I don't like cake, but hunger can change one's perspectives. Then, I saw some bread laying around that I think had been used for communion service. It was destined for the dustbin. Being a high church type, I thought it might be my duty to ensure that this ostensibly sacramental bread did not go into the trash. So I had one stale bite. It was a glorious bite. But to consume the rest would be to screw up my experiment. Moreover, if I consumed it all, as I could easily have done, it would be one step closer to dumpster diving which I am determined not to allow into my life. That might be for another month and another experiment, but my wife would probably be angry at such practices. Of course, I was thinking about eating a starfish not long ago, isn't half-eaten pizza a much safer alternative. .....

No! No dumpster diving for this project. (Someone is telling me there is a great NPR "This American Life" episode on a father who alienated his family by becoming a freegan by living off of grocery store rejects). The experiment, in any case, has made me acutely aware of the scraps of food we discard. But I am as opposed to becoming as I am to eating out of the trash.

Some have been asking about what this is doing to my digestive system. Stop reading if you don't want details, but I think it is actually an important aspect of the experiment. Turns out, with the diet as I have it so full of roughage, that all is well. However, my stool could almost pass for that of a horse given the high fiber content!

By the way: note this picture of an amaranth plant. They are everywhere and have a pretty good nutritional value. Beware of herbicides and other contaminant before consuming. [Note also that this blog in NO WAY is intended as a "how-to". I hope also you read closely to note that I don't think the mushrooms below are edible.]

Day 3: Indulging too soon

2008-09-16T21:48:00.004-06:00

Weight: 204.9

Only three days in and I'm already making up the rules as I go along, and using up my lifelines. In the morning I feasted again on my first (weekly) loaf of bread I made in a dutch oven, thanks to a recipe from a former colleague from Colorado. This uses only three cups of flour a week, plus yeast and a little salt--but nothing else added--and it makes a great loaf.

Breakfast: As you can imagine, I overloaded my hot delicious bread with blackberry jam (got 12 pints left approximately) and the butter made by shaking cream in a mason jar for a while. It was as good a breakfast as my fish were for dinner last night.

Lunch. Now I'm getting back to basics. Amaranth was my staple for lunch. I got it from the backyard and then bagged it. Amaranth is very nutritious, has some protein, and grows in all sorts of inhospitable places. The leaves became a hearty addition to the dandelion, clover, mint, and now rose petals.

Snack: this is where I think the diet isn't going to be that helpful. I'm eating a lot of sugars via blackberries and now a dozen plums I brought to work. These plums come over from the neighbor's tree and I gather them in my yard. I'm not sure what that many plums are going to do for/to me.

Foraging: I realize I can't do this by simply grazing off of random backyard plants. My garden isn't very mature yet. Some green tomatoes and small zucchini exist. Lettuce is almost ready and carrots are there begging to be eaten but I haven't unearthed them yet. So for now I must go forage. I took the kids and dear wife with me out to Forest Park, north of Mukilteo, in south Everett. This isn't the wilds of the temperate rain forest, just a nice set of trails and trees. I collected a slew of mushroom species to compare with the book: 100 Edible Mushrooms. I couldn't get an ID on a single one. And as the book says: "when in doubt, throw it out". But it was fun to study and display the specimens on my hearth for a while. So this forage was rather a bust. It didn't have to be; I later learned that I had passed by two entirely edible berries. I'll be back, if only to get some wine going soon.

Dinner: I ate the rest of the bread with jam and butter. The loaves are the size of the bread bowls for clam chowder. I wish I had some clam chowder, come to think of it.

Please note that on each of these days I would stop for blackberries too and from work.

Note also that while chatting with my wife on the back deck, I heard a frog chirp. I hadn't heard a frog in my back yard before. I wonder if my hunger made my sense of hearing sharper. I contemplated catching it for food, but there was no flashlight handy.

Day Two: Forgot to Ferment

2008-09-15T18:05:00.006-06:00

Weight: 206.8 (Not sure if this isn't just a scale problem. I doubt there is any detectable effect yet of my wonderfully fun but poorly planned diet.)

When I decided to take on this little experiment, I always planned to make some blackberry wine. Of course, that takes so long that I will likely be tea totalling it for a while. Plus, I notice that I need these blackberries too much to waste them on making wine. I'll go forage for some less palatable berries before I throw yeast onto them and leave them in a dark corner of the garage.

I've added to the cheats (which had been one use of flour a week, sugar for canning purposes, and free run of the spice rack) two more cheats 1) butter made from cream a friend gave me that they got at a dairy and 2) balsamic vinaigrette. The latter makes backyard weeds much more tasty. I should also mention that I've always had basic condiments on the list as well.

You probably think I'm completely defeating the point of all this with my cheats, but my body would tell you otherwise. I feel famished.

Breakfast: purple clover blossom. They are tougher than when I picked them and much better fresh. They are easy to spot for my two sons so I had quite a bit, but it makes for an unsatisfying breakfast. And if you eat too much of the stalk it can be annoying to the esophogas. I used the rest of the blossoms for a tea, combining them with mint. That was tasty. Added a little sweetener, I must confess, and it was a drop or two of agave nectar (bought).

Lunch: a rather nice salad with dandelion, some wild strawberries I never cultivated but found hiding out around our suburban home in unnoticed spots; a lot of lemon mint was in there too.

Dinner: I never knew I my will could break this easily. I had fasted for 3 straight days once with one of those liquid diets. But I never felt I wanted to eat something substantial as tonight. Since my oldest (10) didn't have football practice, we went down to the pier to try and get a big score of fish. That way, the month would be a breeze. I'm thinking a big sturgeon for my oldest son, a few rock fish for my six year old son and then a couple salmon for me. (BTW: only two weeks until the salmon season is over and I have no idea what I'm doing). Instead, I caught three giant starfish. I couldn't get any word on whether these sun stars are at all edible so I threw them back. But my boys drew in 6 little perch.

The other salmon-seeking frat boys on the dock were startled to find me racing after these little flopping fish like they held the key to eternal life. Throwing them into the cooler to swim around for a while, I knew that this would be the way to survive: silly little perch.

And that's all we got. So upon returning home I cleaned and fried the little guys with diced hot pepper I grabbed from the back yard (a very wise decision it turned out), mint, a bunch of spices from the rack, esp. turmeric, and lots of dandelion leaves. This was one of the most memorably delicious meals I can recall--ever. Turns out the little perch can be beheaded, gutted, and cooked right in the pan. Everything tastes great and crispy, just remove the spine and you have a fine meal. The fats and frying process (did I mention last post that I am using butter made at home from some donated cream?) made the now cooked and crispy backyard weeds incredibly tasty. I went to sleep absolutely sated. Worried that I now gained back some weight.

I've learned my first big lesson along the way: there are families in this community who are doing what I'm doing every day of the year. In my affluent neighborhood, there are several homes that house multiple families that hail from places like Eastern Europe, South East Asia, and Iraq. My sons have made friends with Russian kids who hang out on the pier all night. They aren't there for sport, they are getting table food. Some of them hang out on a street down the block, and with close observation, they play after school till bed time--they don't eat dinner. In related news, a local school took lunch trays out of the hands of students who were behind on their lunch money payments, and gave them two pieces of bread with a slice of cheese in the middle. They then threw the entrees away because they couldn't reserve them by law. Some say they needed these lunches because they were their only real meals for the day. See: http://heraldnet.com/article/20080914/NEWS01/709149868 I didn't believe this could be true in my area, but it makes sense now. I have no political statement to make here; but it is interesting that I didn't really notice this kind of thing before my experiment.

Day one: harder than expected

2008-09-14T17:18:00.004-06:00

Weight: 209.4
Today was much harder than expected despite the boost I got from a colleague, the Rev. Dr. Dave, who supplied me with a bag of hearty green beans. These were great for lunch, especially after my dandelion breakfast, but still, it left me with some pangs. I know that this is the same feeling one experiences with fasting but I thought it would be easier on this first day than it has been. In the afternoon, I dove into some boiled and un-sweetened blackberries. They were much better than I expected, being without added sugar. Unfortunately, I ate a half-pint mason jar up by the end of the work day.

I have lemon mint bushes in my front and back yards and I realize I'll be using these quite often, for tea, salad, and garnish.

Note that I'm making sure to take fish oil and a multivitamin each day for safety. Note also that this image includes a harvest of two species of Puget Sound crab that were eaten before I began my experiment. It is no longer the season for crabbing, but when you start whining that I'm cheating about this or that, one could, conceivably live off the land by exploiting female and undersized crabs off shore. Keep that in mind in case the end of the world is neigh.